“I would buy the most obese, physically repulsive woman in the world a gift if she had a good heart”. I, for one, wouldn’t. People like to dismiss physical beauty as an invalid quality, but it is atleast equally important, if not more so, to any relationship, as being a ‘good person’. Atleast beauty is something you can work on and put effort into; keep in shape, good hygiene, but your personality is who you are. If you are a dull, boring, selfish person, then that is who you are. When I hear people say that looks aren’t important to them, it screams to me of someone who is pretentious and false. now im not labelling you into that category because I’ve barely read this site or know anything about you, but I am curious how many ‘obese, physically repulsive’ women you’ve bought gifts for.

To Patricia, about your mind experiment about two equally beautiful girls, etc. etc., yes we would like to think that we would pick the one who treats us well, but the human creature isnt seduced how we would assume, we all want the ‘forbidden fruit’, that which seems hardest. Being nice is fine but it also unconsciously lowers your value in their eyes, playing coy and elusive makes you seem to be a prize worth chasing, and all the more seductive. How many times have we heard the cliche of the assholes getting the girls, and nice guys finishing last. Attention and praise which is given sparingly becomes all the more valueable, who would have thought that the laws of economics (supply and demand) apply to the heart.

All in all, I think you have touched on some real truths and keys to any seduction. Kudos on the site as any forum with which those who need advice on ‘the game’ and can discuss and share their own personal experiences and observations is a positive thing.

P.S. Guys doing cat calls doesn’t make it harder for the rest of us, there isn’t another species we are competing against for women’s attention, we are competing against eachother, so let the other guys shoot themselves in the proverbial foot.

To me a beautiful woman is not something that is in short supply, especially if you live, work, or play in the city. I see beautiful women all the time, especially out on the town (and I’m the one who always gets shit on by my friends as having too high standards). I will say that there can be a shortage if you’re living in a small town, or 300 miles away from a major city, or anywhere in the state of Rhode Island.

As you mentioned something about being “sometimes considered beautiful,” beauty is all in context; it can tremendously vary depending on dress, makeup and environment. For example, a woman who’s a 5 when she wakes up Saturday morning can turn into a 7 when she leaves her apartment that night dressed to kill with a half pound of makeup on her face. Then when she walks into a sports bar, she may bump herself up to an 8 due to all the attention from the horny guys there. Drop her on the deck of a navy ship and she could even become a 9.

So physical beauty is nothing special or rare to me. I would buy the most obese, physically repulsive woman in the world a gift if she had a good heart. But I wouldn’t spend a dime of my money or time on a physically stunning but superficial woman. Again, good looks say nothing. If this goes against society, then I take it as a compliment.

And if I had to choose between two equally beautiful and personable women, I would actually be more attracted the one who treated me more like a regular person. I’d feel that the one who treats me like a regular person is being more genuine with me–that I’m seeing what she’s really like–and not some persona that she’s hoping I’d like. From my experience women actually think this way much moreso than men.

Sure, gifts and all that are nice, but the more she presses me the easier it is for me to put her on the back burner. Why commit to her now when I know she’ll be there down the road if I wanted it? The easier something is to get, the less value people place on it. Kind of fucked but true.

And that’s why I recommend being anything but the predictable, gift-giving, money-thrower, ass-kisser. Predictability is not attractive; ask anyone in a 30 year old marriage. More importantly, most guys probably aren’t being themself when they do this. For example, a lot of guys are actually pretty frugal–until they see a beautiful woman, in which case they start shelling out money like she just passed GO on a Monopoly board. All that’s saying is, “I don’t think I’m good enough for you on my own; therefore I hope to convince you with lots of gifts, expensive dinners, and compliments. And that’s not even really who I am when I’m around my friends.” Gifts and compliments do have a certain time and place, just not here.

A man who maintains his belief set and character, and does not fall victim to the spell of physical beauty is rarer than a beautiful woman–and more so in demand.

Finally, by separating yourself from her male groupies, you at the very least create intrigue–one of the big seeds for attraction. I also want to mention that when I say “start treating her like a human being,” I’m not saying that if you treat her as a completely platonic female friend she’s going to fall into your lap. You still need to push those attraction buttons. Since this post ran much longer than intended, I’ll let you guys figure out what to do from there.

The Boston Bachelor

Where I think your advice is flawed is when you say, “…instead of putting a beautiful woman on a Himalayan pedestal like 97% of guys out there, start treating her like a living, breathing human—flaws and all. No matter how breathtaking, remember–she still eats, sleeps, burps, and farts. And never forget that being good-looking has nothing to do with being a good person. So quit the ass-kissing and unexpected gift-giving; her time and money are no more valuable than yours”.

The thing is, a beautiful woman is a rare and highly desirable thing, and rare and highly desirable things generally DO get put on Himalayan pedestals… so to speak. As you correctly point out, a beautiful woman has many dozens of men hitting on her each and every day. But then you ask, “How does a woman sort through this pile?” …and you seem to suggest that she doesn’t (can’t), she just dismisses them all as one annoying bunch. Yes, the annoying ones get dismissed as being annoying but the others…they’re generally judged on A) what kind of person they are AND B) how much they appreciate and offer. And that’s exactly how it would be for men if men were exalted and pursued the way beautiful women are. Human nature in its purest form.

Picture this, two equally beautiful, equally nice girls are pursuing you, one indulges you with all kinds of nice gifts, treats you like you’re really special and seems to appreciate every minute she’s with you, and the other treats you like “a regular person”. I think most guys would do what most beautiful girls do …go with the indulgent one who treats you like a star.

In the end you advise your readers, “quit the ass-kissing and unexpected gift-giving; her time and money are no more valuable than yours”. Well that’s not really true, is it? In our society her time IS more valuable because value is based on supply and demand. Unless you feel you can change society, the best advice You can probably offer your readers is, “if you realistically feel you have a chance with a beautiful woman, and your goal is to involve her in a sexual or intimate relationship, then you should definitely be prepared to indulge her. Because other appealing, intelligent, nice men will and…how does she choose? (that’s where the choosing comes in).

Is it unfair that a beautiful woman is rewarded for just walking into a room? Hell YES, it’s totally unfair. But lots of things in this life are, many of them much more harmful than this.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling comment. I just felt it had to be said. Love your blog, keep up the good work.

Did you finally watch the Ten Commandments? When Charlton Heston parted the Red Sea I immediately stood up.

V