The Boston Bachelor

BY THEBOSTONBACHELOR.COM / May 17, 2008

5. The disappearance of Ray Allen. Doc may be better off benching Ray Allen for Tony Allen at this point. Ray-Ray has shown that he’s incapable or unwilling to drive the ball to the hoop, despite being the most in-control basketball player on this planet (credit to V). Allen has also become a major defensive liability; at this point a Michael Jordan cardboard cutout being pulled on strings by Macaulay Culkin would make for a better perimeter defender.

4. Kevin Garnett mysteriously regains his sanity away from Boston. KG plays his best defense when he’s at his craziest, i.e. throwing punches at Leon Powe, smacking his head with the ball, patting Rondo on the head after rebounds, etc. KG needs to be the same defensive spark plug he is at home.

3. Too much emphasis on containment rather than winning. On the road, the Celtics seem to forget that the object of the game is to score points, not contain momentum. The road motto seems to be “How can we keep the other team’s stars and crowd from getting off?” rather than “Let’s win the fucking game.” As good as the Celtics defense has been on the road, it’s not the same type of defense that led to the league’s best regular season road record. The Celtics defense has always been best when it’s been in attack mode, actively forcing turnovers and creating fast-break opportunities. If we can’t dictate the pace of the game on the road, then we will lose. Yes, the Cavs are good in transition–but the Celtics are better.

2. Rajon Rondo returns from squirrel form to human form. Rondo is at his best when he’s at his squirrelly self (credit to Patty), dribbling through traffic, tossing up floaters, and causing nightmares for opposing point guards. Offensively, Rondo is the biggest X factor in this series—not Pierce or Allen. For the Celtics to win, the offense must be run successfully through Rondo. If Pierce has to run a majority of the offense on the road, then the Celtics will lose. And please Rondo—shoot the J when you’re open.

1. A slow half-court offense. On almost every possession, whether it’s rotating off the pick, finding the open perimeter shooter, putting up a reverse layup, or driving to the rim, our offense looks a half-second too slow (even without Kendrick Perkins on the floor). As a result, our opponents are beating us to our spots and don’t have to resort to committing fouls on the defensive end. Just about every time a Celtic catches the ball and squares his body to the basket, there’s a defender in his face. The Celtics are also eating up too much of the 24 second clock before attacking the basket (again, please shoot the open jumper Rondo). No matter how good your defense is, it’s hard to win an NBA game when you only put up 69 points in 48 minutes.

And of course, there’s always Doc.

-The Boston Bachelor

PS: I have to admit that Doc did a decent coaching job in Game 6 of the Celtics-Cavs series. But does that make me any more confident? C’mon…