The Boston Bachelor

BY THEBOSTONBACHELOR.COM / September 16, 2008

Several months ago, I wasted a few hours of my life performing an experiment in online dating.  In a nutshell, the objective was to see which headlines and profiles on Match.com attracted the most female responses.  Per the rules of the experiment, I was not permitted to initiate any communication; the profiles and headlines had to do all the work in attracting the lonely ladies.

So which profile and headline came out on top?  I’ll start off by saying this: I did not receive any emails during the 2 months of the experiment.  Yes, boo hoo, tear.  There are some things in life I will never get, no matter how much brainpower I put into it.  One is physics, the second is computer science, and the third is online dating.

I’d also like to note that only the first two lines of your profile text actually show up in search results.  For that reason, I’m only displayed the first two lines of profile text per each headline below.

With the necessary introductions being out of the way, let’s get to it, shall we?

Here are the top 3 headlines/profiles that received the most number of confirmed views:
 
 
2nd Runner Up:

Headline: Honesty, Trust, and Respect

Profile: Let me guess… you’re here for the same reason I am. As long as you’re not some spammer in Bombay, then continue reading.

1st Runner Up:

Headline: I Never Judge

Profile: People today are so afraid of being judged in a negative way that they walk through life on eggshells. They hide their true personality and passions and live a life of unfulfillment and unhappiness.

The Winner:

Headline: Apples Oranges Pears Grapes Mangoes Bananas Pineapples Watermelons Cherries Strawberries Lemons Tomatoes Watermelons

Profile: Let me guess… you’re here for the same reason I am. Bars and nightclubs just aren’t the places to go to find someone you can really connect with, much less have a stimulating conversation with.
 
 
Which headline/profile performed the worst, and received no confirmed views?

The Worst:

Headline: I Will Never Love You

Profile: Let me guess… you’re here for the same reason I am. As long as you’re not some spammer in Bombay, then continue reading.

Unfortunately, the censors at Match.com prevented me from posting a few headlines that could have made the results more interesting:

     ”What’s a Clitoris?”

     ”I Love Sex But Not You”

     ”I Heart Bondage”

     ”Looking for Porn Watching Partner”
 
 
So there you have it, folks.  Now what’s the big lesson to be learned from my online dating experiment?  This.

-The Boston Bachelor

By THEBOSTONBACHELOR.COM / April 21, 2008

Alright folks, first I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you.

The bad news: The Babe and The Bachelor will be no more as of Tuesday, 4/29, which will be our last show.

The good news: My good friend V will be filling in as a special guest host for tonight’s show and next week’s finale.

Now onto the details for tonight’s show:

• Two months ago I wrote Behind the Bullshit: A Beginner’s Guide to Bars & Nightclubs, which ended up being the most popular read on the entire site. So tonight, we’re going to follow it up with a no-holds-barred discussion on the absurd nature of the bar and club scene. You don’t want to miss this.
• Online dating. From Match.com to Yahoo! Personals to CrazyBlindDate.com, we share our personal experiences in the world of online dating.
• The NBA Playoffs. Yeah, it’s off-topic, but it’s too important not to mention. We break down every single series and announce our picks.
• And other shit we feel like discussing…

Click here to tune in tonight beginning at 8 pm EDT…

-The Boston Bachelor

By THEBOSTONBACHELOR.COM / April 17, 2008

For most guys, online dating is a fucking waste of time. Actually, according to Jupiter Research, online dating is a really big fucking waste of time, as 97% of guys cancel their online dating membership within 3 months due to dissatisfaction. The number one reason cited in this survey?

Lack of response.

In fact, the NY Times bestselling book Freakonomics states that 57% of men who sign up for online dating go through their membership without getting a single response from a gal. Instead, in today’s online dating world, most guys experience the following:

1. Guy puts up typical online dating profile and shells out $60 for a 3 month membership.
2. Guy browses for profiles.
3. Guy emails 100 girls over the next few months.
4. Guy gets 5 responses back from the 100 initial emails he sent. 3 of them read “Sorry, but I don’t think we’re compatible. Good luck!” The remaining 2 seem promising, so he emails them asking for their phone numbers. One offers her screen name instead, and he never hears back from the other.
5. Guy chats on-and-off with the girl over AOL IM or MSN or GTalk. He tries to get a face-to-face meeting with her, but it never materializes. Guy increases porn-viewing habits.
6. Guy cancels online dating membership, and puts a picture of Dr. Phil’s face on his dartboard.

Sadly the above scenario is really not much of an exaggeration. So why is online dating so fucked? Well, for starters…

• It’s a huge numbers game. If you’re a guy and you don’t believe me, do what I did and set up a personals profile as a slightly attractive woman on CraigsList. I guarantee that you’ll get at least 50 email responses within the first few hours. By the second day you’ll have at least 100-150 replies.
• You’re probably writing the same shit as all the other guys write, or copying and pasting from a template (yes, she’ll be able to tell; no, I don’t blame you for doing it). Again, set up a fake profile as a girl and you’ll see what I mean.
• Writing individually tailored emails takes up a lot of time, time that could be better spent on more productive activities (like shaving the back of your neck).
• There’s a lot of crazy people out there. PS: If a woman has the acronym TV in “her” tagline, that doesn’t mean that “she” likes to watch television.
• Pictures lie.
• Many of these online dating sites have no qualms about making their employees pose as lonely, nubile 19 year-olds to keep you on the site.
• You’ll get more rebounds than Dwight Howard in a charity basketball game. Seriously, at least half the women on the site just got out of a long term relationship.
• They drop like flies. If they’ve been on the site for more than a week, chances are they’ve already received more emails than they can check.

Yeah, you get the point.

But 2 weeks ago, I received an email from the folks over at Yahoo! Personals, offering me a free 3 month trial membership. So I thought to myself, why not take them up on their offer and make a little experiment out of it: Is it really possible for the average guy to just put up a profile, sit back, and have women (who aren’t actually guys in Bombay selling penis pills) emailing him constantly?

So here’s the challenge:

1. For the next 10 weeks, I’m going to rotate a new profile and profile tagline. For starters, I’m just going to use a plain-vanilla profile and tagline, one you’d typically see in the average guy’s profile.
2. I’m going to count both the number of views and the number of responses I get (positive, neutral, negative).
3. This is where I need your help. 8 of the 10 profiles and taglines will be coming from the readers here. The profiles can say anything, provided that they’re approved by the dating site and they don’t contain any kind of hate language or personal threats. Otherwise, use your imagination and come up with something creative. Email me your original profile and tagline at bb@thebostonbachelor.com. Do not post it in the comments section here, for obvious reasons.
4. At the end of the trial period, the results and responses will be tallied. The person who wrote the profile that received the most number of positive and neutral email responses from women will get a surprise gift. Of course, if you don’t want the gift, I’ll just keep it for myself.

I’ll be back in a few weeks with an update. Have fun; I know I will.

9-16-2008 UPDATE: Online dating experiment results have been posted.

-The Boston Bachelor

By THEBOSTONBACHELOR.COM / November 19, 2007

Catch us now live every Tuesday night at 9 pm EDT.

This week on The Babe and The Bachelor:

1. What does gender equality really mean these days? We share our thoughts…

2. What the hell do you do if you still have feelings for your ex? We put our friend (and guinea pig) V under interrogation as we attempt to exorcise that lingering love potion from his body.

3. An update on our online dating experiment.

4. What do “good manners” really mean in today’s dating world, and when should they be used? We debate this hotly contested topic…

5. Questions from our callers.

AND MORE…
You can call in anytime during the show at (646) 595-3961.

See you then.

-The Boston Bachelor

By THEBOSTONBACHELOR.COM / October 9, 2007

I’ll be back on Coach of the Airwaves Radio with professional life coach Frankie Picasso tonight at 10 pm EDT as we discuss:

•   What to do (and not to do) when you’re stuck in the “friends” zone.
•   An in-depth look at the bar and nightclub scene.
•   Dating issues for minorities and immigrants (i.e. FOBS).
•   Plus any questions from our listening audience and much more.

Listeners can call in during the show with any questions at (646)-595-3741.  You can also text any questions to us using the built-in chat function on the BlogTalkRadio site or via Skype at username: coachfrankie.

Listen in by clicking here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/missionunstoppable

See you tonight.

-The Boston Bachelor

By THEBOSTONBACHELOR.COM / September 21, 2007

For those of you who missed Tuesday night’s interview on Coach of the Airwaves Radio (or are just looking for a reclarification on ”skin” friends vs. “no-skin” friends), you can download it here (right-click and hit “Save As”).  Listen to us barrel through topics such as: online dating, The Boston Bachelor’s past life, tech schools, “skin friends” vs. “no-skin friends,” the meaning of confidence, pickup lines, sports athletes, approaching beautiful women at bars, and the infamous eyeball lick.  You can also download or stream the interview via the left side-panel.

As for the questions and material we’ve yet to cover, Frankie and I have tentatively scheduled a follow up interview for mid-to-late October.  More details to follow.

-The Boston Bachelor

By THEBOSTONBACHELOR.COM / September 18, 2007

Ever wonder what a selfish prick sounds like? 

Tonight at 10 pm EST I’ll be engaging in some crazy verbal intercourse with professional life coach Frankie Picasso on Coach of the Airwaves radio on online dating, the battle of the sexes, bizarre tech school stories, VH-1′s “The Pickup Artist,” and much more.  Click here to listen in.

You can call into show as a guest or text/email us a live question by contacting Frankie on Skype via username: coachpicasso.

See you tonight.

-The Boston Bachelor